So Dead
by whitetigerwolf
Summary: Rock was dead, he was so dead. One-Shot. COMPLETE. M for mentions of Adult situations and drinking.


**I Do Not Own Black Lagoon**

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Rock was dead, he was so so dead.

Despite his terrible hangover, at the moment Rock just wanted to get out of the position he was in…Only he couldn't.

It all began last night at the Yellowflag. He and Revy had another drinking contest, and to be perfectly honest, Rock didn't even remember leaving the bar. And he certainly didn't remember the series of events that led him to his current position.

All he knew was that he had never seen the room he was currently in before, he was naked, there was a very strong smell of sex in the air, and his chest was being used as a pillow by a very naked Balalaika. And while, even as scared as she was, Balalaika was one of the most physically attractive women Rock had met, and no doubt featured in fantasies around Roanapur, Rock did not want to be in his current position.

Maybe if he remembered enough to know how he ended up in this position, it wouldn't be so bad.

As it was, he had no idea if Balalaika had been sober, if she had been drunk, or if he had simply stumbled into her bed and she had not woken up (not likely, but he'd seen coworkers and even Revy, end up in seemingly impossible situations after getting blackout drunk). Thus, he had no idea what Balalaika's reaction would be when she woke up. Depending on circumstances that could vary widely from telling him to stay put….or end up with him, or rather his corpse (or even pieces of his corpse), getting rather intimate with the bottom of Roanapur's harbor.

"Relax," Balalaika said, startling the Japanese man. The blond didn't even open her eyes, "I can feel your tension, and it's not all that comfortable Rock."

If anything the Russian's words made him tense more.

Opening her eyes and sighing, Balalaika sat up, allowing the sheet covering her and Rock to pool at her waist as she stretched. This also allowed Rock a very good view of her ample breast. "_So much for sleeping in_," she grumbled in her native language. Without hesitation, the blonde climbed out of bed, uncaring of her nudity. Leaning down, and giving Rock another excellent view of her muscular body, more specifically her well-toned ass, she picked a pile of clothes up off the floor. Tossing them to Rock, she instructed, "Since you're obviously not comfortable, you may as well get dressed," before walking into the in-suite bathroom.

Rock quickly scrambled into his wrinkled clothes. He'd just gotten his shoes on when Balalaika exited the bathroom, wearing a short, red, silk robe. Leaning against the doorway to the bathroom, she grinned and said, "Don't make this awkward Rock, I don't regret last night. You were an excellent lover. Besides, I'd hate to not be able to use you or Lagoon Company's services if it was t awkward."

"I'll try not to," Rock said, unable to look at Balalaika.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "See you around Rock," she said, walking towards her closet in obvious dismissal.

Rock quickly made his way to the door, but Balalaika's voice stopped him.

"Oh, and Rock."

He turned to look at her.

She gave him a look that was as sexy as it was cold. "I wouldn't tell anyone about last night, am I understood?"

"Perfectly."

Good boy," the Russian said, turning away, and allowing him to leave at last.

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"Where were you last night?" Revy demanded. "I stopped by your apartment and couldn't find you.

Rock scratched the back of his head as he tried not to think of what he'd seen of Balalaika's body, and what he knew, though didn't remember, he did with her.

"Well?" Revy asked, glaring at him and crossing her arms, which coincidently brought her hands closer to her pistol grips.

"I…I woke up in an alleyway a few streets down," he lied.

"Were you robbed?" she asked.

He quickly shook his head, "No, I just passed out."

Revy rolled her eyes and walked away.

Rock sighed in relief.

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"You're looking good today Kapitan," Boris said as Balalaika strolled confidently into her office.

"I had a good night Sergeant," she told him. "The best sleep in a long time."

Sitting down at her desk, she asked, "Any issues during the night?" she asked, her voice all business.

Business as usual.

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